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Posts Tagged ‘movie’

Mortal Kombat – Rebirth

June 9, 2010 1 comment

So in slightly games related news a Mortal Kombat video has been released.
At first people were saying it was fan made, then it was a promo for a new game but we now know it was made by director Kevin Tancharoen who is trying to convince the studio to let him have a go at an adult, violent Mortal Kombat film.
I don’t know why any one thought it was fan made, it’s got Michael Jai White and Jeri Ryan in it. Ok so Jeri Ryan might do any thing but White is on the up.

Check it out below. It’s not perfect but it looks pretty good and if Tancharoen is able to build on this we could end up with some thing pretty good.

Holy F**king Batman, Batman!

Wait 'til they get a load from me.

I don’t work in porn mainly due to having a merely average sized penis. However, I like watching porn and as it turns out so do other people. I know, right? You know what else people like? Batman. I think you see where I’m going with this.

Let’s face it, only idiots pay for porn. You literally cannot spend a day an hour on the internetwebs without stumbling across a portal that is just dying to let you watch thousands of hours of humping for free. Porn producers would obviously rather you pay and a great way of doing that is by giving you something more than just basic, boring old fucking.

Porn pastiches are always shit, there’s no script and only a vague idea of the story. Private pulled out all the stops with Private Gladiator, the biggest budgeted porn film which, critically, is kind of a failure, they had the fucking and sets made to look lavish by a bunch of college students but it lacked any real gravitas. It was succeeded in budget by Pirates which was just a bigger disappointment.

Last year I had the idea of making a properly funny movie, only with hardcore sex. I know a typical problem doing a “good” porn is that the ability to have a huge schlong/take huge schlong is not mutually exclusive with the ability to act and proper actresses get all prissy when you secretly ask to film their cooch.

Of course putting it in a contract you’ve already signed with semen probably didn’t wouldn’t help.

Back on point, I don’t really have the means or cock length to put together a porn of any description so my plan was short lived.

Cue someone in the industry taking the initiative and deciding to make the boning almost incidental yet a part of the plot, making the actors actually act to a, y’know, script and having some production value.

Hit the jump for the vid

VID